You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
