wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
