TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
