we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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