Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
