Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
