Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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