he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
