I wannas sexs uuuuu
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
