I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize