Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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