Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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