glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
