My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
