I seem to have left my pride at pride
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize