If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
