One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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