i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
