party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
