Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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