don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize