You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
