Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
