Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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