Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize