I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
