I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wish my penis had a tongue
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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