I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
