Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
