So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
