Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
In America we eat man semen.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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