sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
