i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
