i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
