like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
