He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
