Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
