Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
