i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
not ubering you a puppy
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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