Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
