Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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