you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
