Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
