you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
