i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
