did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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