all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
