btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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