Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
