well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Randomize