It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
