hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize