we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am one with the molecules
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
