Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
