So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize