Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
