i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
